You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
