her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
