The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
