i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
