Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
