Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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