just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck appropriateness.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
