Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How does it feel to date your dad?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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