Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Drake has all the answers
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
