Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize