sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize