respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
