Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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