You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
