Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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