You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
