Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
