I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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