im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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