You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
