i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
