Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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