So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
NoShamevember. You game?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
