Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
