3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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