I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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