have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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