i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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