She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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