OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
