I like my sex mixed with concussions.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
