I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
