You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
