she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
