My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
