time to smoke my breakfast
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
