VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
