So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
