Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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