New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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