There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
