I forgot how hot balto sounded
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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