handjob tips. give me some.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
