This girl is more easily done than said...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
