i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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