Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
