it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
