Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
