Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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