Nicole vs. Life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You're a disaster
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