lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize