I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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