All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
