I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
