I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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