I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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