I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize