wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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