You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
