She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
