so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She needs sedatives and a leash
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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