Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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