I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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