first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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